Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
