help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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