Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
