we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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