i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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