she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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