one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
