The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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