you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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