My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
