Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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