im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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