addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The best revenge is premature balding
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
