They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
