I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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