Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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