Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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