I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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