No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
