I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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