high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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