if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
