We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize