I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
