I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
