Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
