you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
