Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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