Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
