the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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