My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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