Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
