my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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