It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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