Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
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I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
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I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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