belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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