Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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