When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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