She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize