Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
