her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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