My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
