Swine flu is the new snow day.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
