have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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