all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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