her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
