Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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