Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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