I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
