oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
