My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
