best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
