Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
