"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize