Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm jealous of your bromance
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
