Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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