pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
