D3 body, D1 cock
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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